Azure Faith

[Kaito Inaki]

Kaito has basic abilites, his most promising ability however would be the fact that he has a stunning resilience to attacks both physical and magical.

Burn Effects: This effect applies to both abilities and inventory. It deals proportional, fire-elemental, magical damage = 0.5% of the victim's current HE every 5 seconds for 15 seconds before instantaneously dying out.
The burn can easily be cured by using basic purification spells/items like Esuna.

Faithful Grace: This is his ace in the hole. This can be triggered by his sheer willpower (in the case when he's on his last legs he'll be able to use this. He breaks a seal within his mind and body which releases built up rage and power. In short he triggers it through troubling times of when he wants to win, or does not want to die. Kaito goes into a rage mdoe which gives a small boost to all his stats and turns him feral, bent on killing all around him, he will stop at nothing until all are dead, someone of importance stops him, or if it wears off and he is stuck in the mode of intense pain and energy loss. This burn out usually happens after 15 seconds. During the burn out time, about half a day, Kaito will spend a little more PS per action.

Releasing True Insanity Reveals True Power: Kaito's last ace in the hole. His mind triggers a transformation, his dragon Form. It is triggered by his Faithful Grace running on low and his will to stop at nothing to win a fight. Kaito when in this form, can stand upright as a dragon, fly, and can walk on all fours. The forms unlock the abilities stated below after he uses this form once. The dragon is azure blue and stands around 9-10 feet tall. It looks pretty bad-ass! Aside from all the bad-assery, it has a big drawback. Kaito will ultimately power down. His stats will take an average hit and will cause him to use more PS than usual to do actions. Kaito is in this for form for about a whole minute. After the minute is over, he will have to wait a minimum of 16 hours in order to use this form again.



Partial Dragon: Kaito can partially transform his body into draconic counterparts. They are heavier and stronger, trading some speed for power. [Currently Locked Until First Transformation]

Azure Blaze: In hume form, allows Kaito to shoot off a generic azure fireball that has good speed, but lacks in power, so the power of the fireball is around a below average. It is used to cause the burn effect like his weapons give off. In dragon form it releases a wide wall of fire that is 5 feet wide, 7 feet tall, and can be sent out up to 10 feet. The wall morph into a ring of fire to surround the opponent. The cost and power factor for both hume and dragon form are the same while casting methods are different. Casting the fireball only costs a small amount of MA. [Fireball locked until first transformation]

Blaze Tornado: A fire tornado that brings in opponents and if caught in the flames, are burned continuously until the tornado dissipates or unless they get out of it. The tornado lasts for a good 10 seconds. The tornado itself in dragon form is summoned in front of him, and is around 19 feet tall, and 4 feet wide making it look fat! This can be junctioned with Azure Blaze for maximum effect. The tornado has a moderate draw-in effect in dragon form and slowly travels toward the opponent up to around 10 feet. In hume form, only with Mauler or Hellringer equipped, Kaito can make a miniature tornado around 7 feet tall and 3 feet wide. It will fly at the opponent up to 20 feet rather than bring them in. In dragon form the tornado has a slightly above average power factor, and in hume form the power factor is on an average scale. The cost for this is a moderate amount of MA[It can be used in this form once he has gone through the first transformation]

Valiant Charge: Coats self in blue flame and charges toward opponent with great speed and high power. When it makes contact with opponent it sends a concussive shock wave to knock them back as well as a flame wave to cause a burn effect. The flame wave only leaves behind a free burn effect rather than physically damaging the opponent, all the damage is done through the primary attack. It costs a moderate amount of MA to use, and can be used 1 every 5 minutes. [Can only be used in Dragon Form]

Pillars of Azure: Holds a fireball in his hands and hurls it into the ground to cause 7 pillars of flame to travel in a straight line towards opponent, that rise in walking succession (one appearing right behind its predecessor). The attack has a slight homing feature added for better effect. The distanced determined is by how close the fireball was to the opponent. Where D is the distance between impact point and target's position at impact time and P is the distance between successive pillars, P = D / 4. The presumed dodge would determine how far these reach, essentially; if the target dodged 4 meters in X direction, the first pillar would occur at the impact point, the second would occur 1/4th meters in X direction away, the third a half-meter away from the impact point, the fourth almost there, the fifth at the point at which the target dodged to (meaning that the target must dodge at least twice to get away), the sixth 1/4th meters behind that, and the seventh behind that. The fireball is rather slow, noticeable, small (around 10 in. in diameter), so it's easy to dodge, the tricky part are the pillars, which are the size of an average human male. The power factor of the fireball is around above average, while the pillars themselves are on an average power factor. The MA cost is small and this can be used up to 2 times every 5 minutes. [Can only be used in Dragon Form]

Faithful Concussion: Uses the Mauler's charge ability to release a different type of shockwave. The shockwaves are sent outward from impact points, and the measurements are radii from said impact points. FC is an ability of Kaito, not the weapons. The weapons only store the energy needed to charge the shockwaves. Normally the charge time in hume form is around 1.5 seconds, and he has no mobility.

Charge 1: 15 feet shockwave that can launch opponents into the air or send them flying (KB factor depends on how close the opponent is to the impact point)

Charge 2: 20 feet shockwave and causes slight burning effect. (distance applies to shockwave)

Charge 3: 30 feet shockwave that takes a while to get to charge 3. The power is increased and it releases 4 fire pillars to be shot forth as well as launching opponents into the air, and sending them flying based on distance (they sent flying further away the closer they are to the impact point).

Great Zenith: In dragon form, the Mauler can charge faster. The charge speed is upped by 150%, and he can use 25% MOVSPD when charging as opposed to staying stationary. There isn't a fourth charge just a upgrade to the 3rd charge. When the energy is released it makes a shockwave that reaches to 40 feet and sends out fire waves that can easily be hovered over. The power of the shockwave is boosted by a significant amount, and the flame waves are on the same power level (over 9000 lolololol jk jk) than the shockwave and lasts a few seconds longer than the shockwave. They travel up to 30 feet and travel faster than the shockwave.

Stats:
PS: slightly above average
MS: Above average
HE: Slightly above average
MA: Way below average
CH: Below Average
STR: Average
DEF: Tremendous
MAG: below average
RES: slightly above average
SPD: Below Average

Dragon stats:
PS: Noticeably Above Average
MS: Slightly Above Average
HE: Above Average
MA: Slightly Above Average
CH: Slightly Above Average
STR: Above Average
DEF: Tremendous
MAG: Slightly Above Average
RES: Average
SPD: Slightly Above Average

Direct relation: My CURHE rises the same as my MAXHE. When I revert, my CURHE goes back down. Basically, I get some extra HE to work with in this form, but don't get to keep it as some free healing at the end. The changes apply to all parameters, not just HE.

[Choh Lehko]

Faithful Grace: Exactly what would trigger this, and what would cause it to wear off?

Stats: You're just one "slightly above" too high. If you change your PS to "slightly below" or one of your "slightly above"s to "average," you'll have a simple balance system. Of course, those are just a couple of augmentations that you could possibly make.

The only major issue that I have with the rest of it is that it's more character details and explanations of statistical aptitude than anything. An ability list should be composed of the special stuff that you do, basically, not just an explanation of why your stats are what they are. Psychopathic Knowledge sounds like it could be worked into an ability, but the first two entries are definately just stat explanations.

[Kaito Inaki]

Hmm i see what you mean im gunna get to work on them then hehe :)

[Kaito Inaki]

OK!!!! Made Major editations such as transformation and such.

[Noah Ivaldi]

His status as an apothecary is fit for his bio, but isn't really an ability.

Okay, when it comes to Psychopathic Knowledge, are you basically saying that your character is obsessively curious, and he wears his mind out so badly that he passes out at the end of every battle?

For the record, posts do not have a set time length, so please refrain from associating time limits to post limits. This is especially true because posts are generally about 7 seconds or so, which is a lot less than 7.5 minutes. Also, what's the drawback in having to rest after using this if you have to rest up after every battle, anyway? This needs some revision.

Beyond the previous ability, you have yet another super form without real drawbacks. You need to come up with some disadvantages to go with your advantages.

I'm guessing that transforming your human arms to dragon arms will make them stronger, yes? In that case, will they also get heavier, so that you trade attack speed for attack power? The same question can be posed for all such transformational advantages.

The Azure Blaze is a fire attack, right? Do you really have to say that is has a burning effect? Also, you say that its dragon form version is a wall of fire that can morph into... a wall of fire...

The Blaze Tornado should have a time limit, not a "turn" limit; this isn't a classic RPG. Also, how big is it?

You keep mentioning a burning effect... Are you talking about something beyond the classic properties of fire, or what?

[Kaito Inaki]

The burn effect is basically like the whole pokemon thing. Over time they begin to take a fire based damage but it subsides over time basically after 5 turns the burn effect will stop but the damage caused by it stays obviously :P

[Noah Ivaldi]

I still don't get why you're handicapping yourself so badly with the PK stuff.

The temporal error in Faithful Grace is still present, and the drawback is still nil, with PK.

Okay, so how long does the dragon form last before someone kicks your ass?

The Cross Slash is an ability of the Hellringer, right? It should be listed under the weapon, not in Kaito's abilities, unless it is actually an ability that Kaito posseses and can use when equipped with a similar weapon.

All right, but the burning effect in Poke`mon games dealt proportional damage... In this case, each burn will have a time limit (which you can decide on now; recommended at 15 seconds or so) and will deal tiny amounts of magical damage.

[Noah Ivaldi]

I just realized that you still haven't edited this... I never approved this, Kaito.

Oh, also, I need some clarification on the charging. Correct me if I'm wrong:
You can charge up physical energy in your Mauler. The physical energy is within the armaments and thereby can't be dispelled if you are hit by a simple dispulsion effect. This energy can be released with physical attacks for more power.
You, the character, have abilities that allow you to channel the physical energy that is stored in your Mauler into shockwaves that you, the character, project.

[Kaito Inaki]

Yes that is correct the armaments hold the energy so it can't be dispelled by a dispulsion effect and the released energy makes physical attacks stronger as well as create shockwaves that I can project.

[Noah Ivaldi]

"whole hour period (about 15 seconds or so)." Dude, really, you need to read the whole context of something, not just one exerpt where there's an error.

By the way, relativize the magnitude of Blaze Tornado's draw-in effect. Is it a powerful draw-in, a moderate draw-in, a weak draw-in, or what?

In Valiant Charge, I see that you have the burn effects loosely described. What you should do is describe them at the top of the list and say that those properties apply to all of your burn effects in your abilities and inventory. You say that they last for 15 seconds and deal small, magical damage, so do you mean that they deal continuous, magical damage that totals to a small magnitude over 15 seconds (after which the burn dies)? Alternatively, did you want the damage to be proportional? If so, is it one hit for X% of the target's maximum HE every X seconds (example: 0.5% every five seconds, total of 1.5% over 15 seconds), is it continuous, proportional, magical damage that totals to X% of the target's maximum HE over 15 seconds (example: continuous hits rack up over 15 seconds to add up to 1.5%), or is the reduction based on the target's current HE, not its maximum (in which case I would not recommend continuous damage because the calculations would get to be... well, what I did in calculus last semester)?

[Kaito Inaki]

OK how does that look?

[Tixxi Eldixac]

Okay, you stuck with proportional damage for the burns. The way that you have it phrased, you imply that it deals fire-elemental, proportional, magical damage = 0.5% every 5 seconds for 15 seconds, right? Well, if it's based on current HE, not maximum, that means that the damage won't total to 1.5%. If my HE = 1000, the initial hit will deal 5 damage, bringing me to 905. Then, 0.5% of that is 4 and 21/40ths, so I go down to just above 900. Another 0.5% of that is a little undre 4.5, so I go down to about 896. 1.5% of 1000 = 15, but I lost more like 14. Yes, the difference is negligible at this point, but, when calculating elemental resistence levels in and against certain enemies, this could become a significant difference, especially once you make this stronger.
Simple solutions: Either take out the total and simply say that it deals proportional, fire-elemental, magical damage = 0.5% of the victim's current HE every 5 seconds for 15 seconds before instantaneously dying out, or make it proportional to the target's maximum, not current, HE.
By the way, this needs purification determinates.

[Joanna Larken Shosmyth]

First, let me look over the content again.

You still need to take another look at your burn effects. See the above post.

FG: Now, it seems as though you're handicapping yourself a bit too much. A slight stat increase for 15 seconds can turn the tides of battle, but a full-out collapse afterward makes it pretty much useless. Maybe just make it so that you spend a little more PS per action during this time or something.

RTIRTP: "Dragon Form" and "Azure" should be decapitalized. This applies to the whole document except where the words are used in titles. "Dragon Form" is not, in and of itself, a title. Well, I guess that you could explicitly designate it as such, but it's not innately.
You say that this is triggered by FG running out, but your description of FG states that you're KOd at its end.
I see that your parameters are boosted, as well. This isn't a problem, but bear in mind the fact that a boost to those parameters won't mean anything unless they're healed up. Numerically speaking, if your max HE is 5,000, then it rises to 5,340, your current HE is still back at 5,000. If you want, they could proportionally adjust (numeric example below), which would effectively make an itty-bitty difference in losses to HE, MA, and CH. That would make the parameter increase more useful, but you could also leave it as-is and just derive minimal help from it.
On that matter, I see two descriptions for the change in stats and parameters. In the description, you just say that they all get a moderate boost. At the bottom, you make a whole new relativization list. Pick one or the other, and we'll work with it.
You know, this supposedly unlocks your weapons' true forms, but I only see uniform weapons on your list. You'll have to either assemble super forms for your weaps or omit that part.
"It gives him passive abilities as well. The reason for this is because he hasn't used it yet. It is completely unknown to him that he can access this power." <- Erm, what?
Since this appears to have been toned down, I think that you may be handicapping yourself too much with this thing's downside, too. Before we work on that, though, let's take care of the other aspects so that we know just what we're dealing with.

PD: Your description is a bit redundant. What about just, "Kaito can partially transform his body into draconic counterparts. They are heavier and stronger, trading some speed for power," eh?

AB: You cause an effect. You affect something. Effect = noun. Affect = verb.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the two different forms just make a change in casting method, right? The cost and power factor are still the same (though you deal more damage and it runs a little more quickly 'cause your MAG is higher), and the only change is that it goes from being shot out as a fireball to being sent forth as a wall that turns into a ring.
I see no cost and no power factor, in the first place.

BT: There are two things that I'm missing. First, how big is the torrnado normally? You state the draconic size and the miniature size with Hellringer/Mauler equipped, but you don't state whether that same size is used for the standard cast or anything. Basically, this is what I see:
In hume form, Kaito surrounds himself with a flame tornado that draws foes in weakly and damages them.
In hume form with one of the right weaps equipped, the same thing occurs, but it is shot forward (range unspecified) and has no draw-in effect.
In dragon form, the standard hume form one occurs, but bigger. Its draw-in effect is strengthened, too.
Am I wrong? In any case, you need to specify the range of the shot-out form.
Also, if you can cast this in front of you or anywhere within a range, you must state what that range is. Otherwise, it is assumed to be cast around you.
I see no cost or power factor, again.

VC: I see "great power," so we have a power factor, but no cost. This wouldn't be a problem, since it's in your super form, and the high KB factor is fine, but there's also a secondary attack to it, which, by the way, has an unspecified power factor.

PA: I need the cost and power factor. Also, how are the 7 pillars deployed? Are they in a clusterfuck around wherever the fireball hits, are they 7 consecutive pillars in the stricken spot, do they rise in walking succession (each one rising just behind its predecessor), do they deploy in a formation that resembles a wall with six spaces in it (either facing to the side or facing you), or what?

FC: The shockwaves are simply sent outward from impact points, and the measurements are radii of shockwaves from said impact points, no?
The shockwaves don't get the power boosts from the charges, do they? It seems to me that the charge is spent for the shockwaves and effects or powered attacks.
Just to be totally clear, the energy storage is an ability of the weapon, but the shockwaves are YOUR abilities, right? In other words, if Jules were to steal Mauler and use it against you, she wouldn't be able to use Faithful Concussion, right? If this is true, it's in the right place.
Charge 1: There is an increased KB factor that varies directly with how close the target is to the impact point, and that's it. That's what I see. Correct?
Charge 2: Well, yes, it has a bigger area of effect; 20 is bigger than 15. Redundant, much?
Charge 3: I'm assuming that the power boost is a moderate one. Again, the increased KB factor varies directly with how close they are, right? The alternative would be to send foes flying more easily the further away that they are from the impact point, which doesn't fit the physics that we know, but could be done. Again, detail the pillar formation; are four sent outward in a cross or X formation from around the impact point, are they deployed at the position of up to four struck targets, or what?

Great Zenith: How much faster? I recommend a simple multiplier in the form of a percentage, fraction, or decimal.
"Becareful however, Kaito can then use the scythe to fire off electricity bolts to unwary dodgers." Aside from the fact that "be careful" is two words, this sentence is unnecessary; everyone knows that you can initiate other attacks while one is in progress unless that ability explicitly states otherwise.
Now, what is this new shockwave? Is it a fourth charge level (which means that you need to state how long it takes to go from 3 to 4), is it an upgrade to Charge 3, or what?
The flame waves are simply sent out as the shockwave, not anything special that will hit a broader area, right? For how long do they flow?

Your default stats are a bit overpowered. Figure that one "above" and one "slightly above" negates a "way below," so those are fine. A "tremendous" is about equal to two "belows," though, which leaves "below," "slightly above," and "large amount." The simple solution would be to turn "large amount" into "slightly above average," but you want lots of HE, so you should take it out elsewhere.

I wonder why I didn't think to ask this, before. Is "Azure Fire" supposed to be an exclusive element, in which case you'll have to list whatever properties it has beyond an alternate color, or is it just specially colored fire?

Now that the content has been analyzed, you really need to just look over this whole document, read it slowly, and make corrections as they come up. You'll see such errors as "This is ace in the hole," along with... well, basically the entire first half of the document. I can't really help you out until you give this a serious clean-up.

[Kaito Inaki]

Ok i edited this to the best of my abilities while being tired. I will work on spelling and grammar once the abilities themselves are sorted out. I was waiting on a multiplier for Great Zenith like you said you would give me, but I didn't see it. So the only thing not edited was Great Zenith

[Joanna Larken Shosmyth]

The burn effects are fine, now. The only discrepancy that there may be is that some of them are described as "small" or "slight;" are you just being descriptive of what you've already established, or do you mean that these actually have a reduced effect?
Oh, also, can you stack multiple burn effects on someone?

FG: Hm. . . Fair enough, then. You can use it to get an edge in battle, but you can't just bust it out every time that you have a close call, 'cause the cooldown time is long and it's overall pretty costly, especially if you get into another battle during the cooldown. That about sums it up, eh?

How long is the cooldown for RTIRTP? How long do you stay in dragon form?

Just to be clear, a spell's power factor and your MAG are mutually independent, then compounded multiplicatively for overall power. The overall power of the spell is "below average" because that's what your MAG is, but the innate power factor of the spell has nothing to do with your MAG. You may wish to hit up the damage calculations guide, but the gist is something like this:

Fire - PWR = 5
Noah - MAG = 30
Damage = (30 * 5 = 150) / target's RES * placement factor (assuming that where it hits matters) * some random variance

PWR and MAG are two separate arguments. Anyway, my point is this: As far as I can tell, you already know this concept, but I do want to be sure that you and every reader does, too, 'cause the wording that you used kinda' makes it SOUND like the power factor is "below average" because your MAG is "below average," which would cause plenty of confusion.

". . .allow for other fire attacks to be used while it is active" makes it sound like it forbids everything else. Again, you do not need to explicitly SAY whenever an attack can be used in conjunction with another; it's assumed that, if it takes you one second to cast a spell, and your first spell occurs for four whole seconds, you can keep tossing out other spells while the first is going.

BT: Only with those weaps, huh? Hm, okay. Now, I see that both variants advance toward the target. I get that the dragon variant is slow; that's as descriptive as it needs to be. The hume variant must be much faster, though, aye? Are we talking about something like fireball speed, more, less, or what? I need a power factor.

VC: Sounds pretty savvy to me.

PA: "The distanced determined is by how close the fireball was to the opponent." <- Erm, what distance? The distance between successive pillars or something? If so, how? I think that this is a screw-up, because what you're implying is something like this:

Where D is the distance between impact point and target's position at impact time and P is the distance between successive pillars, P = D / 4 (Simple enough example, eh?). The presumed dodge would determine how far these reach, essentially; if the target dodged 4 meters in X direction, the first pillar would occur at the impact point, the second would occur 1/4th meters in X direction away, the third a half-meter away from the impact point, the fourth almost there, the fifth at the point at which the target dodged to (meaning that the target must dodge at least twice to get away), the sixth 1/4th meters behind that, and the seventh behind that.

While you are totally free to implement that for a somewhat tricky attack, I think that you just wanted it to be a point-blank pillar walk (each back wall touching or almost touching the previous pillar's front wall) in which each pillar's position adjusts a bit in an effort to "follow" the target's side-to-side movement. Both of these are very cool and useful, by the way.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but each of these pillars is about man-sized, no?
What is/are the power factor(s)? If I get hit by the fireball, then the pillars, will I take more damage from the fireball than the pillars, or would the fireball basically be an eighth pillar hit? All seven pillars are equally strong, right? Just how strong are these components?

FC, Charge 3: What I'm seeing is that you punch a point for the same thing as Charge 1, but twice the radius and more power, and four of the same pillars as before are generated and launched as though they were javelins that were thrown by a giant from that impact point. How far do they travel? Are they the same pillars as before, with the same power factor and size?

You said that you'd get to Great Zenith tomorrow. When you do, remember to check my previous post.

Stats: By George, he's got it.

I'm not so sure about the dragon stats, though, due to not knowing the form duration, cooldown duration, or some specs that I'm about to address.

Oh, right. Numeric example time.
Your MAXHE and CURHE are 5,000 and 4,000, respectively.
Your MAXHE rises to 6,000. Proportional calculations mean more to you because you have 6/5ths of your previous maximum.
No relation: Other than the 6/5ths difference in proportional damage/healing, you get nothing unless you do some healing.
Direct relation: Your CURHE rises by 1,000, the same as your MAXHE. When you revert, your CURHE goes back down by 1,000. Basically, you get an extra 1,000 to work with in this form, but don't get to keep it as some free healing at the end.
Proportional relation: Your CURHE is 80% of your MAXHE. Therefore, after the boost, it goes up to 80% of the new total (80% * 6,000 = 4,800), so you gain 800 for the time. You do some fighting and go down to 3,000 (50% of your "new" MAXHE), so you revert and adjust to 50% of your normal MAXHE, which is 2,500. If you take all proportional damage, none of it matters for obvious reasons. If it's like this example, though, you just lost 1,800 HE in damage and only really went down 1,500. Effectively, the 6/5ths multiplier on your HE acted as a 5/6ths multiplier on your damage. See?

Now, I see that you made the HE the same, but this applies to your PS and MA. It would to your CH, but I see a 0 (I'll get to that in a bit.), and it doesn't matter for MS because MS is basically a gauge that is innately full and refills quickly when not under pressure, but depletes as long as it is under pressure.

Now, aside from your other parameters, I'm looking at CH. See, for a soulless dragon, one who is just innately a dragon (perhaps anthropomorphized, but not human), CH is usually off-limits. You're a human with a draconic form, though; CH is natural to you, and changing forms doesn't necessarily change that. It would be totally reasonable for you to have more or less CH than your norm; it doesn't have to be 0.
A) Is your CH "sealed away," so you effectively have 0 while in dragon form and it can't naturally increase over time, then it is restored to you when you revert?
B) Is your CH spent/lost down to 0 (or effectively 0) in the transformation and held there from increasing until reversion, upon which you don't just get it all back, but can start replenishing it again?
C) Would you like to change this to a different value?