Arts of Terah

[Terah]

Health: **
Mana:***
Strength: ** ****
Magic Power: ***
Chakra: *
Magic Defense:*
Automail/Armor Defense: **
Speed: *****
Mental Stamina: ***
Physical Stamina:****

Under the Uses of each ability I have listed a Percentage, this is the percentage of mana used when she initially casts the ability and uses it. Her meter at 3 stars (Sein Average is 100 percent). All costs are out of the original mana.

Driver

The Driver is an attack that focuses mana into Terah's hand, it unleashes the mana out of her hand in a shot gun like blast of Elementless Magic best used when near or close to an opponent.

Uses: Mana, Magic Power
6 Percent Mana

Advanced Slash

The Advanced Slash is an ability that adds mana from Terah into her blade amping up it's slashing properties. It was developed by her father to decapitate the heads of Demonic Machines easier. Unlike her father's Advanced Slash which could decapitate a Demon Machines head, Terah's can only do a quarter of the damage. When calculating damage it take all of an opponents defense into account.

Uses: Mana, Strength, Physical Stamina
10 Percent Mana

Sengekyo Tenkyoken

The ultimate technique developed by Terah's father and passed down to her. It focuses 7/8ths of Terah's mana into both hands her hands, and shoots it in a gigantic glowing sphere of elementless magic that is both fast and has a medium 20 meter explosive radius that deals magical damage but is a physical attack. Using this ability with Full Mana gives it an Way Above Average damage rating, all other potential power factors vary depending on the amount of mana that remains when the ability is used.

Uses: Mana, Magic Power
7/8ths Current Mana

Bushin no Jutsu

Terah creates multiple illusionary copies of herself, confusing the enemy. They are Illusions and have no abilities or life or anything of the sort. When casted she makes 3 copies per cast.

Uses: Mana, Mental Stamina,
3 Percent Mana

Kikyoken

This technique allows Terah to swing 3 times in the time she would normally swing once. Also works for punches or kicks. Pink blurs occur as a result of the speed.

Uses: Mana, Physical Stamina, Speed, Strength
6 Percent Mana

Hyaku

This is essentially a burst of momentum that allows Terah to Flash Step for 1 seconds and an added 1 second per level. It however can ony be used 3 times in a half hour span and is increased by 3 uses per level. It multiplies her movement speed by 300 percent and only when moving in a straight line.

http://bleach.wikia.com/wiki/Hohō

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Flash_Step

Uses: Mana, Physical Stamina, Speed
11 Percent Mana

Juuni Sutras

Rotating her hand and drawing patterns with them Terah forms several kanji in a circular pattern. These kanji then turn into sutras, and launch themselves at key points on an opponent's body or other locations to do one of the following.

Uses: Mana, Magic Power unless otherwise stated.
2 Percent Mana on top of an addition amount per Juuni Sutra used. Only when using different ones does the extra 2 percent come into effect, otherwise when using one type of Sutra, Terah pays 2 percent mana to use that sutra then the actual sutra cost.

Explosive

This Juuni Sutra explodes on contact with anything creating a small firey explosion and some smoke afterwards.
4 Percent Mana

Flash Bang

This Junni Sutra is used to create a blinding explosion.
2 Percent Mana

Ward

This Juuni Sutra is one that does not work on humans. It is a spiritual ward meant to enact fear into non humans. It does this by spending a tiny bit of mana but at the same time slows Terah's thoughts down making her loose concentration on what is around her. It only lasts for a maximum of 3 seconds and has a 2 second stun afterwards on the target affected.
Uses: Mental Stamina, Mana, Magic Power.
6 Percent Mana

Magnafield

A small field of magnetic force occurs pulling metal objects towards it for 2 seconds.
3 Percent Mana

Hibiki

Using a similar patter to the Juuni Sutra's Terah is able to cast a spiritual defense that acts as a barrier not to stop attacks but to reduce them by 25 percent and an additional 10 percent per level. Hibiki can not be stacked and drains 10 percent of her mana every second it is active.

Uses: Mana, Magic Power
10 Percent Mana

Ex-Up

Ex-Up is an ability that when casted causes Terah's Speed and Strength to increase but alos makes her defense decrease.

Uses: Mana.
12 Percent Mana

Yarunata

Yarunata forces Terah's body into a rapid summersaulting spin that causes her to spoin like a pin wheel towards the target with her sword held out in front of her like a saw blade. It at the same time increases the damage done by her sword due to the spinning and forwards momentum.

Uses: Mana, Strength, Physical Stamina
20 Percent Mana

Surumasu Eroburu

The Surumasu Eroburu transfers mana into Terah's arm expelles it out of Terah in a sonic boom like shock wave of mana. It uses a 6 percent of her Mana and deals medium damage

Uses: Mana, Magic Power, Strength
6 Percent Mana

Raki Suta

This ability is a spiritual chant that increases the luck or chance that a good or rare drop will occur. It lasts for about 1 minute and costs about 14 percent of her Mana. When casted it appears as a glowing ring of translucent light that is always floating around the target even as they move and will always follow them as long as they do not use anything that puts a barrier between them and the ability. It takes around 2 seconds for the ability to activate after the ring that follows the target has been casted.

When used a dice roll is performed with the following properties.

Raku Suta
1 - No Change
2 - 1.6 percent increase chance of drop
3 - 3.11 percent increase chance of drop
4 - 6.23 percent increase chance of drop
5 - 12.5 percent increase chance of drop
6 - 25 percent increase chance of drop

[Leesai]

So, I'll tell you this, it's the same thing (in my own words) that K is always telling me when he's helping me with my character; your attacks can't be all powerful, all badass, ya know? You have to say what property it uses; chakra, magic power, etc. Also, you might want to have a bit bigger list then that... that seems like it will be somewhat limiting in your first battles, where you're likely to go against people/beings just as strong as you, if not stronger.

[Terah]

Okay. I'll look over it and add a few more. This is now unofficial for anyone who's gonna comment on it.

[Leesai]

If it's unofficial, then you shouldn't post it until it's done; that's why none of Leesai's stuff is up yet, because I haven't finalized any of it. I know if you privately message K, or even Fenrir, they're more than happy to go over it with you line by line until it fits with their criteria. :)

[K]

No, it's okay to have unfinished lists up. In fact, many people have unfinished lists up so that we can publicly criticize them and let others help us. Case and point: what we have here.

[Silver Fenrir]

Overview of Abilities

Driver - Good that you stated the fact that it used mana; however, the use of the term "energy" is rather vague. Better specification of the type of energy would be most appreciated.

Decapitation Slash - A full pierce seems a bit overpowered for just starting out. At most you should have a half pierce to quarter pierce property on the ability to start out.

Sengekyo Tenkyoken - The error in your fraction 9/8th should be changed to something that makes sense. This move is overpowered on a few levels. You should specify how big the blast radius is rather than be vague about it. Metaphysical properties and null properties can't be used simultaneously; you should probably go with metaphysical properties as null properties are rather powerful. Also either drop the speed of the sphere or decrease it's size.

Bushin no Jutsu - Do the copies have the same health as you? Is your health split between them? Do they go down in a few hits? Can they attack? Just some things that you might want to clear up and expound on.

Kikyoken - Normally it is somewhat hard to dodge one sword swing so having ten swings in the time frame of one seems overpowered. You should probably drop the count on the swings a certain amount.

Hyaku - There should be a limit on how much you can use this after all if you used this repeatedly along with Kikyoken you would be basically unstoppable. Try to find a way to limit its use or put a limit on how many uses per battle.

[Terah]

Edited the needed stuff and then added more.

[Silver Fenrir]

Overview of New Abilities

Juuni Sutras - This ability seems fine though I will say that you should probably put a border around all the different abilities that come from this one i.e. Explosive, Flash Bang, etc. Also be sure to correct the spelling error in Magnafield.

Hibiki - This seems fine though having it increase by 15 per level might be a bit high. At level seven that would mean you would reduce attacks by 105 percent. That would be obscenely overpowered if I understand your math correctly.

Ex-Up - This ability seems fine to me. You even it out by having to use mana as well as drop defense in order to increase your attack and speed.

Yarunata - Ability looks good to me though I do have two things that I would like expounded upon. First, are you curled up in a ball or is it more like grabbing your feet with your hands and forming a wheel? Second, how exactly do you attack with the blade in this form? Do you just swing it at people as you roll by? Do you just hold it out to the side like kneecappers on a car wheel? Or some other way?

Surumasu Eroburu - So when you use this ability are you attacking with pure mana or is it just non-elemental magic damage?

[Terah]

Updated

[Choh Lehko]

The adjective phrase, "energy like" (or, more properly, "energy-like"), makes no sense. Everything is energy. This is why we always ask people to specify what kind of energy they are using when they say that they use "energy attacks" or the like. I spend my energy to move my body, which then exerts said energy into a contact point, and that contact point intakes the energy and uses it to cave inward. I just described a simple punch in terms of energy. If you're talking about some sort of blast, beam, lazer, mazer, shot, field, or whatever else, you need to say what the energy is. There is no such thing as an energy-like subject because there is nothing within human comprehension that resembles energy, but is not, in fact, energy. On the same attack, you said that it is a medium blast radius, but we would prefer a more definate amount (e.g. 10-meter radius). Finally, you say that it has metaphysical properties, but don't say how it is a metaphysical attack. Does it deal physical damage, though it is based on your MAG, or what?

You say that the Advanced Slash is 1/4th as effective as her dad's version, but we don't know how effective your dad's version is or how the power of this version is reduced. It seems like you interpreted Fenrir's instruction to grant a partial pierce as an instruction to put a fraction in at random. If you say that it has a piercing property, you have to say how much of a target's DEF is or is not counted. Also, how does this attack utilize your MAG?

How is your Kikyoken ability based on your MAG?

How long does the Hyaku last per usage? How much does it increase your movement speed? What do you mean when you say that it can only be used three times; you can only use it three times total, then you can't ever use it again until you Level-up?

Your Ward sutra slowly spends your MS over time to inflict fear into non-humans, correct? Can you control the ward to stop spending your MS and stop inflicting fear without killing the foe?

14.3 % per Level is still overpowered. At the first couple of Levels, it's nothing so bad, but at higher Levels, you become WAY too tough, and by Lv7, you're invincible. Lv7 should not = invincible; it should = the top of Level power. Just sheer invincibility is not fair at all. Also, you say that it spends chakra and mana; does it spend them half-and-half?

When it comes to the Surumasu Eroburu, you're basically just putting a magical attack onto a physical attack, no? How much mana does it cost, in relative terms, and how much damage does it do?

I'm not sure what you're hoping for with the increased attacking luck, but the increased item drop luck wouldn't be bad. How long does the effect last after casting it? Also, why would you reverse-cast it; can you cast it on others? If so, how can they dodge it?

[Terah]

I fixed it some more.

[Choh Lehko]

The first part about the uses needs to go. Stats raise by 1/3rd of their original amount with each Level, not more or less. On each of your abilities, if you want to express their costs as a percentage of your original mana, that's fine, but your growth rate will be the same as everyone else's.

"depending on where Terah aims the slash" = ? Others dictate their bodies, and in most cases, full DEF is counted. In any case, it sounds like it doesn't have a piercing property, at all.

You can't deal "magical metaphysical" damage. There is no such thing. There are four attack types:
physical
metaphysical
magical
null (I'm actually reconsidering this bit of terminology, since attacks that deal null damage could be dealt by attacks that could be lumped in with the others.)
There are three damage types:
physical
magical
null
If you launch a metaphysical attack, it can deal physical or magical damage. If you use a magical attack, it deals magical damage (dependent on your MAG and usually the target's RES). If you use a physical attack, it deals physical damage (dependent on your STR and usually the target's DEF). If it depends on the DEF of the target, it's physical damage. If it depends on the target's RES, it's magical damage. It's a metaphysical attack if it depends on the foes RES despite using your STR or if it depends on the target's DEF despite using your MAG.

You say that the Bushin no Jutsu uses 3% of your original mana, but don't specify how many illusions are generated for that much. Are you saying that it costs that much for each copy?

The adjective phrase, "faster than the eye can see," means almost nothing. 90 mph is too fast for most normal, human eyes to see. That's not hard for a Sein char to see, nor is it all that fast. Please give the ability's increase as a multiplier on your MOVSPD. Also, if it's not too fast, you can cut the mana cost out for that ability.

You gave a mana cost after the description for your Juuni Sutras. Do you mean that it costs 2% of your mana in addition to each of the following costs, or is that an error?

Since mana costs can be reduced and your ability's magnitude can't readily be hindered, the 14.3% per Level damage reduction is still too much. If you obtain an ability that allows you to cast that for a halved mana cost or less, you can gain a cheap, overpowered health advantage.

How does the somersault attack calculate your SPD? When you say what something uses, you should say what parameters (PS, MS, HE, MA, and/or CH) it spends, what stats (and possibly parameters) of yours are used to determine its power, and what stats (and possibly parameters) of the target are used to hinder it.

You still haven't clarified what you're going for with the lucky striking factor of Raku Suta, and you stated its animation, but it sounds like an autohit. If the circle closes in on the target, do you mean that it also changes position during those two seconds as the opponent moves, so that it "follows" them and always closes in oon them, or does it only close in from where it appears, and if they simply move out of the circle, they're safe?

[Kaito Inaki]

And the EX-Up, im confused for it says that your defense decreases but so does the mana to cast it. Are you saying you can stack this multiple times and each time you do it cuts the cost of mana? If so then that's overpowered and cheap. It would make sense for it to be used as a sort of last resort with a good amount of Mana to cast it while not being able to stack it.

[Terah]

Updated again but it seems the more I add the more there is wrong.

[Choh Lehko]

It's fine; everyone makes mistakes. That's why we're trying to help you sort this out bit-by-bit.

For the Hyaku, the links aren't necessary, but you can leave them there if you want. We know what flash-stepping is.

If the 2% mana costs stack, wouldn't that just mean that the sutra costs are 6%, 4%, 8%, and 5%, respectively?

The Raki-Suta has a nice system that you made for it, I'll admit. Still, we're not sure how you want it to play out. Attack successes aren't calculated as percentages with each attack, then run through an equation (or series of equations) with a random number generator to determine whether it strikes or not. Such a program would be both costly and impractical. When determining the success of an attack, the timing is considered, as well as the range, the attack speed versus the target's movement speed, the target area, the mental status of the attacker and target at the time and the predictability of the attack, the physical status of the target and attacker at the time and thereby the capability to effectively perform the attack and effectively react to it, the environment, the method(s) by which the target may attempt to evade, specifically the method(s) that the target chose to perform, and quite readily other factors that can not be simply calculated as a percentage chance. Normally, when one wishes to augment accuracy, one augments one or two of the listed factors. A mere die roll to determine a percentage that may say, "You can't hit me with that, so that all-encompassing explosion that really should hit me just magically doesn't," or that may say, "I can use my slowest, most predictable, easiest-to-doge move and aim it in your general direction, and you'll just magically take the hit," or anything of the sort is not a logical ability. If you want something to work about like how I described it, you'll have to grant a far more comprehensive explanation, which I think you'll find to be more trouble than it's worth.